Give the million bucks to me...
Give me a million dollars, I'll spend it on my school tuition, a Dodge Challenger, a home renovation, and the tuition for my 4 daughters to go to college. This will improve Oregon by 1) putting an educated psychologist to work who is dedicated to providing counseling to war veterans, police offic... more
Give me a million dollars, I'll spend it on my school tuition, a Dodge Challenger, a home renovation, and the tuition for my 4 daughters to go to college. This will improve Oregon by 1) putting an educated psychologist to work who is dedicated to providing counseling to war veterans, police officers, and firefighters for PTSD and other disorders, thereby reducing the amount of stress and "pessimism" in thousands of Oregonians; 2) people will see my sweet burnt orange Challenger with racing stripes and be inspired to do more with their lives. This will work. Everyone will see it. I will drive it all over the state. Believe me. It will also help local, state, and federal gross profits of Chrysler dealerships, parts manufacturers, and Chrysler Corp., bringing them a net of 10,000 bucks closer to being able to pay off their bail-out money, making them privatized once again. The entire UAW will thank me...and you. 3) By affording to send my daughters to school, there will be yet four more go-getter females out there to inspire the female movement to success, and to drive the economy of Oregon by filtering their financial success down to others, as well as the legal, medical, and entrepreneurial achievements that will have a great positive impact on thousands of Oregonians. 4) My house is 104 years old. It's falling apart faster than I can buy stuff to fix the leaks, holes, broken windows and doors, and the sagging wood floor. With my home being remodeled, Reagan's trickle-down economic theory will immediately go into effect by raising property values in my neighborhood, and inspiring my other neighbors who have not yet done so to also renovate, thereby improving our community one street at a time. With our community improving, so our town of Mcminnville will follow, then the county, surrounding counties, and ultimately, the whole state of Oregon. Plus, people would see how interested the state of Oregon REALLY is in the individual person; how much they care. Much of the million dollars that is given to me will go to medical research for important things such as cystic fibrosis research, cancer research, and the research of other numerous neurological disorders (i.e, Lou Gehrig's disease), thereby providing a way for those who are plagued with illness to be healed, renewing their appreciation of life and driving them for improved economic and mental status. With this million dollars, my wife will be much less stressed out, and when she's happy, I'm happy, and we both know a lot of people; happiness and depression both have a tendency to rub off on people, you know. When those people spend time with me, they, too, will try to rid themselves of their pessimism and be happy...like me! Yes, this is serious. I would really love the opportunity to be given this million dollars, and look forward to your consideration, review, and jurisprudence in the matter.
No no sir...thank you. You've made my day knowing that I made someone laugh.
Marcus Perez commented
wow, that has to be the funniest thing I have read in years. I started crying at the Burnt orange charger driving all over the state. "it will work" man your awesome, and inspirational. Thanks for the enlightenment!